Groyper Big Balls Vibe Codes away Social Security

by: Ethan McCue

"Groyper" is the term used to describe the followers of Nick Fuentes.

Nick Fuentes is a "Hitlerist," meaning he agrees with specifically the policies of Adolf Hitler. You might also know him as the "Your Body, My Choice" guy.

"Big Balls" is the name of one of the young fascists recruited by DOGE. He gained particular notoriety for being young, very punchable, and having a head turning nickname.

Another DOGE fascist is Gavin Kliger. Gavin Kliger is very much a Groyper.

They are all Groypers.

This is why when DOGE fascist Marko Elez posted "Just for the record, I was racist before it was cool" and "Normalize Indian hate" Elon Musk went out of his way to keep him on the team.

DOGE has announced plans to rewrite the computer systems of the Social Security Administration. The timeline they give for this endeavor is several months.

This will not work out for the people who are dependent on their Social Security checks. The way in which it won't work out is t.b.d., but there are a few possibilities that come to mind.

For one, they are supposedly replacing tens of millions of lines of COBOL. That is an amount of code far beyond anyone's capacity to fully understand, let alone recreate, in a few months.

So best case scenario they miss something. More likely scenario they don't care if they "miss" something. These are fascists. They are predisposed to make things worse on purpose out of condescension, intentional malice, or some other goblin emotion.

Then there is the overarching plot-line of dismantling the social safety net. The template for those sorts of actions tends to be to take over a public service, make it worse, then privatize it as a solution. This would fit that template.

The stated plan is to accomplish this with AI. The practice of using AI to produce large chunks of code has been christened by the venture capital tech space as "Vibe Coding."

Training programs have already sprung up seeking to capitalize on the term, reinforcing the convenient smuggling it gives to obvious negligence.

As was the pattern with Big Data and "Web 3" before it, the programming and tech world seems to have few antibodies to nonsensical claims of future potential. Even skepticism will end up wrapped in the framing of "Well this is obviously the future, but."

Social Security's systems are reportedly currently in COBOL, but the plan is for them to be rewritten into Java.

There would be, in a saner time, reasons for that. Java can run on what we would call "commodity hardware" and there is a statistically younger pool of trained people to pull on to write it. It wouldn't be the first system "modernized" in such a way and doing so could make longer term maintenance simpler in a few ways.

But while COBOL Mainframes have a casual reputation of being relics of the past, they are some of the only systems in the world where you can have leader + follower replication of the results of individual CPU instructions.

IBM, the "Made the Holocaust Possible" company, has an online transaction system called CICS that I have been informed is "nuclear attack resistant." I rest easy believing that, if we ever have the privilege to suffer through a Threads, my bank account will have its correct balance.

Unless they found a well-thought-out plan tucked in the desk of a more competent person they fired, these considerations will not be approached with nuance.

I mean, presuming there is a plan at all. It could just be, intentionally or not, a distraction while they pull out more important copper wiring like the FDIC.


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